It’s really surprising how the tiniest actions of the people around us affect our thoughts and our behavior. We are conscious about the way others perceive us. But do we really need to bother about all the little things? Let’s see why it’s a good idea to be not-serious for some time and just have fun.
Who’s watching you?
We over-think many times. Let’s say you’ve put on a little weight around your belly and whenever you’re outside, you find people staring at you, especially at the belly. Now, think for a minute. How many times do you see a person who matches your size or is close to it? Do you remember how many you saw today, or yesterday, or maybe in this week? Probably nothing comes to mind. If you have a good memory, you might recall a face or two. But even that would a very faint memory.
Because you have your own life to deal with, and there are a good number of things that keep your mind occupied. Where’s the time to stare and judge other people? Even if you do, you might barely think about them for 5 seconds, 10 seconds tops. Others are just like you. Today, hardly anyone has time for their own family or friends, let alone for people whom they barely know, or for strangers. So no one is actually staring at you or giving much thought about how you look. Even if you are an extremely handsome and charming person, still people wouldn’t spend much time on you. And that’s a good thing.
Many of us tend to get too self-conscious when we are in public. This often happens due to the constant fear of being watched and judged all the time. It can lead to severe paranoia if not handled well. Also, it obstructs inner peace and happiness.
Discussions can go either way
You are in a meeting, and you present a lot of good ideas backed-up by some fine research and study. Yet for some reason, someone else’s ideas are accepted and appreciated. This would certainly disappoint you a bit and also annoy to a certain extent. It’s quite natural. However, if you get completely fixated over this incident, then there’s a problem. ‘Why did the boss specifically favor that person?’ ‘Have I anyway offended my boss?’ ‘Did I say something wrong?’ ‘Do all the guys in my office have problems with me?’ Boarding this train of thought can keep you awake for nights.
Studying, researching, and presenting ideas are in your control. Even presenting arguments to explain why your ideas are better, is fine too. But getting depressed because of an unfavorable decision is simply inappropriate. Your boss might have had something else in mind for which the other person’s ideas seemed more suitable. That doesn’t mean that your ideas were considered garbage. It could have been a situational decision. Or perhaps your boss was mentally occupied due to some personal stuff and made the decision in haste. In any scenario, it probably wasn’t about you.
And in case you think that your boss does have a problem with you, you can solve the problem by communicating effectively. You can’t read your boss’ mind, and your boss definitely does keep thinking about you 24 x 7. It is a good idea to talk to each other. And if you think it’s a personal problem that cannot be solved, then there would be no use communicating. The ideal thing to do in such situations is to MOVE ON. You will always have other opportunities. And who knows, instead of getting stuck with your rival colleague or your boss, if you focus on your ideas, you might have a plan for a business venture of your own.
So don’t waste your time thinking about what others think about you, or why life only picks on you. These are pointless thoughts. Approach life with a relaxed mind and calm attitude.