I’m an optimist by nature. I’m an upbeat person, seeing the beauty of the world around me and the positives in every situation, always dwelling in an idealistic cloud. Recently, though, my optimism was severely challenged by a period of depression.
I began to cry over the smallest things, I spent long dark nights pondering over my miseries, I spent more and more time alone. It was as if somebody had taken the malicious trouble of entering my brain, switching off my positivity, and leaving me with prolonged, contagious pessimism. I began to see people as uncouth and condescending. I was easily offended, increasingly temperamental, and forever moody. I pictured that when people were rude they were settling scores with me, and that nobody could be trusted. I was highly irritable and unpredictable, with no patience for anything or anyone. I became more prone to insulting and judging the people around me.
I didn’t make a deliberate decision to be that way, though. It happened in the moment due to my depression and it was a way of channelling the deep sense of negativity and insecurity that I felt. My depression was due to my social awkwardness and because I had begun losing friends. This caused some unwanted reactions from my side – some of them were even extreme reactions.
Largely, people who are rude and venting out anger on other people do not usually have a problem with those people or the society. Usually, the source of their problems lies inside of them – it’s because of difficulties they may be facing in their personal lives or professional lives. Guilt can also play a major role in leading a person to be unequivocally rude. A long time spent in a self-critical mode can lead to a person being overly critical of others. A deep sense of personal loss or failure can lead to a person being either aloof or condescending.
If you get angry at someone who is rude to you, you will only do self-harm. Don’t let it upset you. Forgive them for what they say or how they act. And if you’re the one who has been rude, forgive yourself. It’s important to love and forgive yourself before you forgive others.
If you find yourself in such a sticky situation, remember one important thing – you are not to blame. Face this fact with an open mind, forgive yourself nonetheless, and realize that it is never too late to start again, it is never too late to be the person you want to be. Pay attention to your critical thoughts, your self-bashing attitude – is it real or fabricated? Face your problems head-on and defeat them.
I consistently posed rhetorical questions like “Who can like someone like me?”, “I’m full of imperfections, will I always be like this?”, “My life is a mess – how can it ever mend?” Such queries were neither healthy nor were they based on any solid realities. We all have imperfections – it is our imperfections after all that make us perfect in the human sense. Whatever we are going through, we need to understand that there is always somebody else out there who is going through the very same thing – and also someone who has won the situation. And all our lives are a test, an endless, brutal game. We are constantly faced with challenges that make us question our very purpose and direction in life. We need to tackle these obstacles instead of giving into them.
This is not an easy task. It takes months (or even years for some) to overcome their fears and face them. It takes serious self-questioning, cringing identity crises, and a lot of self-doubt. Some people may opt for therapy and other techniques. But you must remember that eventually you will be on the track to recovery.
And always, always remember that no matter which side you are on, you are inherently good, you have the capabilities to do great things, you deserve to be loved, and you are meant to succeed in the game of life.
Photo Source: Mcability