We often grumble about our jobs. It seems like we are stagnating at our offices. Having grudges against scheming colleagues and unfair bosses is rather common. Have you ever asked yourself, “why am I so unhappy?” Ever thought that maybe the real reason for your unhappiness is you?
Even I have dreamed of a workplace where I am adored by everybody and my bosses worship my wisdom. Eventually, I realized that it wasn’t my office or my bosses that made me miserable. I had been holding myself back, afraid to accept the truth—I never liked my job! Crunching numbers for a living and spending the entire day answering emails was never my intended career. I had always wanted to be a novelist. Yet, I had chosen the safe confines of a regular accounting job, forgetting that my heart still longed to express myself through words.
Common Reasons that Often Hold Back People
After sharing my story with some friends, it seemed that most folks around me were unaware about what was really holding them back. Most of them blamed circumstances, destiny, and even God! I believe that it takes a few minutes of relentless introspection to reveal the truth. I believe that most of you are likely to come across the following reasons:
1. Fear of Failure
Many millionaires around the world managed to earn the big bucks because they chose to look elsewhere—beyond the comfort of a job that pays regularly. When their friends preached about becoming ‘stable’ in life, these people chose to take risks. Nobody gave them the guarantee of succeeding. This is because they could live with the fear of failure. They weren’t overcome by the fear of losing. For a more fulfilling love-life or work-life, you need to let go of this fear. Accept that nothing in life can be dictated. The more risks you take, higher are the chances of finding your source of true happiness. Fear is often a bundle of negative energy and some preconceived notions. The Zen Mind talks about meditating daily to free the clutter of your mind. Try it to wipe out pessimistic thoughts. To be successful, you have to embrace the likelihood of losing a few rounds—important thing is that you win the battle!
2. Bitterness towards Family/Close Friends
We often hold our fate responsible, complaining that less deserving family members or friends have been gifted all the happiness. This resentment is like an oil slick—it spreads quickly and is very dangerous. The bitterness translates into subdued feelings of frustration and anger. If you host such bitterness, there is every chance that your daily routine leaves you depressed, overcome by random thoughts. Rather than blaming Luck (or God), accept the truth that everybody has a different life. No person can steal your quotient of happiness. You aren’t happy because you have made the wrong choices or ignored the opportunities that life offered. This closure is necessary to start afresh with a positive, clearer mind
3. False Sense of Complacency
The Zen philosophy talks about breaking out of your circle of comfort. This circle can infuse a false sense of complacency—a smugness about what you are doing with your life. You might believe that there is nothing beyond your office and a few weekend movies with your family. With time, the contentment arising from this complacency will desert you, leaving you terribly unhappy. Such people often suffer from unexplained anxiety or illnesses that cannot be diagnosed. Break these shackles. Try to get in touch with what else you can do to feel better about yourself.
4. Vicious Circle of Cynicism
Whether it is family, friends, or your love interest, remember that your social circle impacts the way you think. People who are always cynical, advising you to never look beyond the mundane daily routine cannot help you realize your true potential. More positive souls will give you more chances to smile. A happier persona will invariably breed more confidence. You will gain the enthusiasm it takes to pursue life goals that once seemed impossible. Don’t let your mind suffer in suffocating relationships. Break free from people who continuously doubt you.