Unpleasant experiences in the past can make your present existence miserable. People who have had an unhappy childhood or other problems in the past often find it difficult to lead a happy life. They spend their entire lives in misery, but they don’t have to.
Don’t let your past rob you of your happiness in the present. Of course, memories will remain and you may also feel emotions. But you can choose not to get affected by them. Healing happens only when you are ready to take the remedial actions.
Forgetting an unpleasant past is possible. You just need to make some conscious efforts.
Get fed up
Be thoroughly unhappy with your miserable existence. You deserve more. You deserve happiness. You might have had an unpleasant past, but that doesn’t mean that you have to live your entire life in unhappiness.
Stop being a victim
Don’t consider yourself as a victim. The victim mentality will not serve your purpose. Take responsibility. You are the only person responsible to make you happy. Accept it.
Shed your old identities
Your identity is what you think you are. Don’t see yourself as incomplete, wounded, needy, incompetent, or broken. You are none of these. You deserve happiness and you have the power to make others happy. You don’t have to prove anything. Don’t feel compelled to prove your worth. This can be limiting and prevent you from realizing your full potential. It is a bit like looking at your reflection in a mirror covered in smudges. By shedding your identities, you can clear away the smudges.
Be a dispassionate observer
If you continue to feel pain about your past, you are reliving those experiences all over again. This will prevent healing. Old memories may arise, but try to be dispassionate about them. Be an observer, not the actor.
Try to find meaning in something else. It could be an interesting pursuit or a great relationship. This will free your heart and mind. The moment you lose interest in your sad story, it will lose its power.
Approach emotions intelligently
Don’t try to avoid your emotions. You are not supposed to indulge them either. Let emotions arise, but don’t pay attention to them. Let them pass. Be an open slate. Look at the world from a whole new perspective. When you get stuck in the past, you will have a limited world view. This will not help your case.
Have a realistic view of healing
Healing does not mean that you will forget those painful memories. You are unlikely to forget them. It simply means that you will no longer get affected by them. These emotions will no longer be the masters of your universe.
When a painful memory lifts its head, don’t nourish it with attention. Let it pass. This is the real freedom. Any emotions can arise, but you will remain aloof to them.
You were probably not responsible for the bad things happened to you. You were probably the victim. Someone else did something wrong to you. But don’t expect them to set that wrong right for you. Don’t expect them to apologize. Don’t expect them to make the situation better for you. None of these will probably happen. You might have been wronged, but you still need to let it ago. Let it go even if that means approving others’ bad behavior. Let go of anything that is making life miserable for you. Let go of anything that is limiting your growth.
You can’t undo the past. You can’t make it different. It is something that you have absolutely no control over. You don’t have to forget the past. You just need to relate to it differently. And this is the best time to begin. Yes, right now. Involve yourself in different emotions. Let the sad emotions pass by; ignore them. Only then you can attain peace and emotional freedom.