People have different beliefs and I don’t want to impose upon others. However, I would like to say that people who believe that everything happens for a reason are able to handle life a lot better. Many of us believe in attributing everything to science. Some folks believe that all of life’s events are orchestrated by god while some believe in the concept of destiny. Others don’t believe in fate and attribute everything to mathematical probability.
I have interacted and befriended people from many of these belief systems. This has been an interesting affair since trying to understand the mindset of others, particularly about life, can be very enlightening. Here, I will present my opinion about why I believe that everything happens for a reason.
The first step to understand my way of thinking lies in accepting that both good and bad things are bound to happen to you. It isn’t sensible to expect that life will always be a bed of roses. The sooner you accept this, the better will be your life-handling skills. Upon further introspection, you will realize that even the most upsetting events have a bit of positivity rolled into them. It is just that we are so overcome with the unpleasant bit that we cannot see the positive side.
For instance, my parents’ marriage hit a rough patch many years back. My father started cooking separately for himself. It wasn’t nice to see him struggling in the kitchen while my mom could cook with much ease. A few months back, my mother suffered a bad fracture in her thigh. She was bedridden for months. We couldn’t get someone to cook for us and eating from outside is something we don’t prefer as a family. Luckily, my father could fall back upon his cooking days. It took him a few days to recollect the tricks of the cooking trade but he could do it. Sometimes, things happen in such a way that looking for the positive underlining is almost impossible.
Another example – I had fallen in love a few years back. The chemistry between me and my lady was electric. None of us could imagine not spending our future together. A year or so into our relationship, I discovered that she had been cheating on me. When I further analyzed, it emerged that the signs of her deception had been visible for some time. It was my blind faith that didn’t allow me to see them. You must be wondering what’s the benefit of getting your heart broken that too in a painful and teary-eyed way?
The fact is that I had been very vulnerable at believing people too quickly. I would seldom go beyond the first impression. After the break-up, I realized that my perception had to change a bit. This didn’t mean not trusting people anymore but being a bit circumspect. With time, I have found a way to keep my patience and tread slowly when interacting with people. The pain I suffered has made me wiser as an individual. I know how to control my instincts and be more sensible.
Still questioning if everything happens for a reason?
None of the illustrated examples here can be attributed to good/bad luck or science. I believe that human experiences and emotions aren’t always calculable. You have to see past the lens of logic and destiny to realize this. I believe that life isn’t supposed to proceed as we plan. It is almost criminal to expect that things will always happen according to our wishes. The only thing we can control is our efforts. This gives the satisfaction of knowing that we tried the best we could.
Beyond this, there is little we can do—this isn’t a feeling of helplessness! It should be a liberating feeling for you. It should set you free from the barricades of repeatedly doubting your decisions or being anxious about the future. Every day, life presents an opportunity to learn or experience something new. Again, this can bring cheers or tears. If you start looking for a reason why life dealt you a blow, the answers and happiness will abandon you. If you believe that whatever has happened or will happen in your life is for a reason, you will be at peace. This is the only way you can live life without regrets.