Ever since our childhood, we have been trained to criticize ourselves and find our own faults. We have an inner judge that monitors whatever we do. It examines every move, and frankly, it can make us feel miserable at times. I, too, have an inner critic who told me wherever I went wrong, and many times I hated myself for making some mistakes.
However, at some times, it is good to dis-identify the inner critic. I did it and immunized myself from whatever negativity the inner critic threw my way. Now, I’m not saying that you should kill that little voice in yourself that tells you whenever you have done something wrong. No, that voice can be your guiding light. It can tell you how to better yourself. However, sometimes, that voice can be nagging and whining, constantly complaining about each mistake you make.
You’re at a social gathering and called someone by the wrong name. How embarrassing! Half hour down, and everyone has forgotten about that name mix-up. Everyone, except you. That little voice in your head has been constantly reminding you how embarrassing it was.
Or you’re in a class. The teacher asked a question and you gave the wrong answer. Nobody thought it was a big deal, but you. Inside your head, you’re replaying that moment again and again.
When your inner voice becomes a nagger instead of a guiding light, it is then that the problem starts. And when that happens, you should dis-identify yourself from the voice. Here’s how you can do that.
I enjoy painting sometimes. And my inner judge won’t leave me alone. Even when I’m drawing a simple flower, it will say, “It’s not pretty. The colors are all wrong.”
When I’m painting a person, the voice will say, “This face doesn’t look pretty or even real.”
I paint for joy and not as a career. To be honest, I don’t need to paint to perfection – after all, it’s a leisure activity for me. It’s something that should bring joy to me, not stress. My inside judge wants me to believe that I’m bad at everything. Whenever we are working on anything – it can be any project – the judge wants to be involved. And he’s an unoriginal guy. He repeats the same things to each of us.
Trust me that the judge is a robber. He robs us of our happiness, talent, worth, and ability. He believes that you cannot achieve anything, and tries to fill your mind with chaos. He will break your ego and tell you that you’re not loved and nothing that you do matters. And when you make one embarrassing mistake, that judge tries to convince you that you’re suddenly very important and that embarrassing situation will never be forgotten.
Whenever the little judge starts complaining, tell yourself that everyone makes mistakes, and it’s totally normal as long as you learn from them and better yourself. If that discerning voice tries to bring you down, remind yourself of whatever you have accomplished until now and how it was a small mistake that you made.
Another way to silence the judge is by becoming productive. When you’re productive, you put yourself in a positive light. It is then when you feel like rewarding yourself. And nobody – not even that judge can stop you from feeling positive then.
See, it’s always good to learn from mistakes, but there’s no point in repeating the same mistake over and over again in your mind to torture yourself. It serves no useful purpose and you’ll only feel bad about yourself.
So whenever that negative judge’s voice starts repeating things, tell it to stop. Tell it that all the negative chatter is boring and useless. And tell it how awesome you are. Because deep down, you know that you’re a great person, and no matter how much the little judge tries to bring you down, you’ll shine bright and bring happiness and positivity to the world.
Photo Source: johnhain