Things can go wrong or they can go great, but in reality, things are neither good nor bad. It is our mindset that forces us to perceive things as good or bad.
How things affect us?
Things can affect us in many ways. When they go wrong, we feel bad and helpless. When they go great, we feel happy; we feel confident. However, this doesn’t mean that we are under the control of things. Things don’t control us – they can’t. In fact, we control them, but we simply don’t understand that. We simply don’t understand that we are the masters of our destiny. When we let small things affect us, that is the time when situations go out of control.
Here are a few things you should remember when things seem to go wrong.
Understand that certain things are not in our control
Yes, that is true. We can’t control every aspect of our life. It would be really great if we could, but that’s just not going to be. There are many things beyond our control. Accept this truth and don’t try to control the uncontrollable happenings in your life. You will only fail and that failure will lead to more unhappiness. Also, if you can’t control something, you should stop worrying about it. Of course, this is not easy, but with some practice, you can develop this mindset.
Let things happen at their natural pace
Things neither go wrong nor go great. We believe that if something falls short of our expectation, it is going wrong. But that’s not true. Sometimes things go at their natural pace, but we want to see the results faster. So we push harder; however, can we expedite things by trying harder? Unfortunately, we can’t. That isn’t how things are supposed to work. Certain things need time to grow and mature. If you push harder, you will only make things worse.
Failure is the stepping stone to success
It is okay to fail. It is okay to make mistakes. If you don’t fail, then you may be doing something wrong. It is impossible to predict the exact outcome of our efforts. And hence failure is a part of the learning process. If you are not failing often, you are probably not trying enough methods. While it is okay to fail, you should ensure that you do not commit the same mistakes again and again. If you’re making the same mistake again, it shows an inability to learn. Try a new strategy and if it fails too, try something else.
There are no lows without highs
When things go according to our plans, our expectations are also likely to be higher. And when our expectations are higher, the reality is more likely to fall short of them. This will lead to disappointment. Very often, what might seem to be a low for us is a high for someone else. Zen masters teach us that highs and lows are a part of our life, and we should accept and embrace them equally.
Don’t focus on the negatives
Our mind is our best friend as well as our worst enemy. It can propel us to success or throw us into despair. When things are going great, we feel happy and begin to see the whole world in a positive light. On the flip side, when things are going wrong, we get thrown into despair. We lose hope. And then everything will seem to be bleak. Everything that we associate with seems hopeless. And when things seem hopeless, we will begin to interpret our experiences in the same light. Situations that seem just fine when viewed with a positive mindset will look and feel worse. Don’t commit this mistake. Focus on the good in your life. All of us have certain things going for us. Look at the positive aspects of things and forget about the negative aspects.